


Heartless

by homokage



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anbu Uzumaki Naruto, Angst, M/M, Naruto is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 09:13:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18568348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homokage/pseuds/homokage
Summary: "So I heard you are ANBU now" He sounded disappointed," I thought your dream was to be Hokage, so why did you change it?" Kakashi asked.





	Heartless

third person p.o.v.

Naruto sat on the edge of his bed staring out the window of his apartment. The moon had illuminated the village, bouncing off of every surface, creating a beautiful image. Even the village people could see this as they smiled with glee, enjoying their night.

He couldn't help but smile too. 

It was rare for him to smile nowadays, and it felt foreign to him. Naruto's friends would've loved to see him smile, it had been so long since they had last seen a genuine smile from him.

Naruto could hear the little kids scream in excitement as they ran and played games with their friends while their parents huddled together, whispering about an event that took place that day, October 10th, 18 years before.

'Can you believe it's been 18 years since it attacked?'

'They say that boy became a ninja'

'It's all his fault we lost Lord Fourth'

Naruto stood up from his bed, walking closer to the window, listening to the conversations of the adults and he finds himself hurt by their words. Afterall, 18 years ago, he was born, and the Fourth Hokage died.

"Mom, Dad, don't be sad because I chose not to celebrate my birthday. Besides, I'm not really alone" He whispered, looking up at the moon, hoping they heard him. 

His parents died the day he was born during the attack of the Nine-tailed fox. He never got to have a family, some days that eats at him, others he is at peace with it.

Besides, Team 7 had become his new family. Sakura was like a little sister to him, one that he would gladly die to protect. Sasuke acted in place of an older brother, one he looked up to and sought recognition from. Kakashi, although like a father to the other two, was something entirely different. He considered Kakashi family, but there was something more, a new feeling he had never felt before.

"You made me this way, Kakashi" He whispered as he looked out the window, finding his teammates, Sasuke and Sakura, together. 

They were holding hands, Sakura laughing so hard her eyes closed while Sasuke looked down at her lovingly. Although Sasuke wasn't one to show affection, it seemed Sakura was the exception to this.

Naruto felt a tiny burst of pain in his chest as he watched just how happy his two best friends were.

He could have been down there, with them, laughing his ass off with the two, but his heart had grown colder since he was a young innocent genin.

Things could have turned out differently if only he had loved Hinata the same way she loved him. However, life was against him in every way.

"I wonder what would have happened if you stayed instead of going on that mission" The man whispered as he walked away from the window, unable to watch his friends any longer.

He wanted to cry as he brought up the memories of Kakashi leaving for a mission, for dating Yamato after the war, but he couldn't. The only thing preventing him from crying was that once he did, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop.

"I just wanted to tell you how I felt you bastard! You made me this way!" Naruto punched the wall next to his window, cracks spreading throughout the old wall like a spider web. 

Anger ran through his veins, boiling his blood, and punching a wall wasn't enough for him. He walked over to his bed, picking up each of his pillows, ripping them open as white feather burst out.

Suddenly, all the years of pain he endured, the anger he never let out, came racing out of him like water from a breaking damn.

He smashed glasses, turned over tables, broke pictures frames. He screamed and he screamed, letting the anger take over his body until the adrenaline left his body, and he was nothing more than an empty vessel on the ground.

'Knock. Knock'

Naruto turned his head as he looked at the door, too numb to do anything about it. Whoever was at the door would most likely leave if he didn't answer it.

'Knock. Knock. Knock.'

"I'm coming!" Naruto called out as he realized that whoever was at the door would not leave him alone.

Naruto stood up from the ground, his body feeling weightless, and he took a look around. It seemed as if someone had come into his house with the intention of destroying everything.

There was no use in trying to clean it up, so he simply walked over to the door, and opened it.

"Kakashi?" Naruto asked as he came face to face with his sensei.

His former sensei simply blinked at the sound of his name, instead he leaned to the side as he peaked into Naruto's apartment, his eyes widening at the mess.

Naruto almost felt embarrassed, but he didn't let it show as he stepped to the side to let his former sensei into his apartment.

"So I heard you are ANBU now" He sounded disappointed," I thought your dream was to be Hokage, so why did you change it?" Kakashi asked. 

The man looked at him with his head tilted, his eyes still scanning the room. 

Naruto doesn't question how Kakashi knows, after all, his former sensei had a way of finding out about everything.

Still, the question bothered him as he could feel all his old emotions stir within the pit of his stomach, just like they had all those years ago.

Naruto turned away from Kakashi, unable to meet his eyes, instead, he looked out the window once again. Kakashi followed him, standing right beside him, like equals.

"I joined soon after you left because my emotions became a problem for me. The ANBU helped me control them." Naruto stated his voice void of emotions, just like an ANBU.

Naruto turned to look at Kakashi, finding that the older male had been intensely staring at him, their eyes now meeting. Those silly feelings Naruto had for Kakashi began to bubble in his stomach, and his cheeks began to burn. 

Naruto snapped his head back forward in hopes that Kakashi didn't see what was happening inside of him, but he should've known better. Even without his Sharingan, his eyes were still keen. 

Calloused fingertips gripped Naruto's jaw, turning his face so that he was once again staring into the eyes of his sensei. He could feel his heart skip a beat 

"Naruto, is it true that you became ANBU because you had feelings for me? Is that what made you so heartless? Is that what compelled you to leave your friends and forget your happiness? " Kakashi asked. 

Naruto could feel the tears filling up his eyes, he didn't know why, but this time he didn't try to hold them back. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks, dripping down his chin and onto Kakashi's skin.

"Naruto, I like you," Kakashi whispered, sincerity evident in his voice.

Naruto stared at Kakashi, eyes puffy and red.No one had said his name in the year Kakashi was gone. 

Being in ANBU he was called by the name Fox, never Naruto, so hearing his name now sounded foreign, yet so right coming off of Kakashi's tongue. 

Naruto felt the urge to kiss Kakashi, as he has wanted to do for years, but he hesitates. His arm moves towards Kakashi, hand reaching out towards his face, his fingertips touching the mask Kakashi always wears.

Something overcomes him as he pinches the mask, pulling it down enough so that he can see Kakashi's lips, and leans in to kiss him. He's imagined this moment for years now, and he takes in every second of it.

Kakashi kissed Naruto back, slowly, his hands cupping his student's cheeks, not wanting to let go.

Naruto wishes he could stay in this moment forever, but he feels a metal band on Kakashi's left ring finger, snapping him out of his dream.

He pulls away, his eyes flickering to the silver wedding band that glistened in the moonlight. He chooses to ignore it, for now.

"You don't have to leave ANBU, Naruto, but I need you to promise me you won't lose yourself." Kakashi pleaded. 

Naruto closed his eyes, pretending that there is no wedding ring on Kakashi's finger, and nods his head.

He knows he's being naive by clinging onto the hope that Kakashi actually likes, maybe enough to get divorced, but it's all he has. Maybe this is a mission from Tsunade to get Naruto to return to the person he once was. He doesn't care.

Naruto leans in towards Kakashi, kissing him once more. He wonders if this is what heaven feels like.

"Okay, Kakashi. I will, but only for you" Naruto promised.


End file.
